What’s next in life?

As I reflect on some of the recent events in my life, the question jumps up regarding what is the next ‘thing’ in my life.

I guess it comes back to beliefs about life and what it means.  As  I see it,  humans either drift through life, accepting what comes with either a frown or a smile; or they acknowledge that they are here for some purpose.

selective focus photography of person touch the white ceramic mug with choose happy graphic

I believe that everything is meant to be and with that credo then I can more easily accept some of the shitty stuff that has come into my life.

Like Kelly dying for instance;  it is much easier for me to accept her death as being part of something she had to do.  Which is why in that sense, I wrote her story; because it was easier to believe that her life was for a reason and not for nothing.

I like to think that with her death, comes a message — and that I believe is something I’ve made a sort of quest —  to raise awareness around suicide and hopefully prevent at least one more.

And I guess if you believe there are angels on this earth, then I’d like to think that Kelly was one  — only here for a short time to make an impact and leave a legacy.

Maybe this is just the ramblings of a grieving mother — but so what?  Does it really matter as long as I believe it then I’m more likely to achieve something.

So I will continue to go about my daily life, curious as to what is next in store for me and asking myself “What was the lesson I had to learn from that experience?”

Some may see things as a cross to bear, but I’d rather look at life’s challenges as lessons.  Because if I just got out of bed every morning, ate my breakfast, did my housework, watched TV I think life would be very boring.

So — what’s next for me?  I’ll just potter along until it crops up.   Coffee anyone??

cup of coffee in distance with red rose




Loose Ends

I’ve been MIA for the past couple of weeks and it wasn’t because I had a holiday.  That would have been nice for sure, but I have booked one for next year and I’m already living into it — a week on the Gold Coast and I can see it clearly.

art beach beautiful clouds

Take the tax return for instance.  It’s a job that could have been completed ten months ago but as it’s not one of my favourite tasks I put it off. Again and again until it was almost time to do the next one.  Duh!

I’m definitely doing the next one by the end of this month so I don’t have to worry about it. That’s what I did — worried about it when I could have just knuckled down, done it and got on with my life.  I can’t even use the excuse that I was too busy because I have plenty of time to set aside to do it, I just did’t want to.

portrait of beautiful young woman over white background

I know I will feel much better when I do these pesky jobs, but still put them off.  I’m taking a wild stab here but probably not the only one like that.  I’ve always looked at people who are super organised and wondered how they do it.  I could do it when I worked, but don’t seem to be able to keep up to date with housework — which is so stupid really because if I did it regularly it would’t take very long at all.

So it feels great to have gotten lots of fiddly tasks out of the way plus some of the big ones.  But I’ve finally stopped telling myself that I will get it all done and then keep things that way.  Because that just doesn’t work for me anymore.

So I guess I’ll just keep having to tidy up loose ends for the rest of my life, although I will endeavour to keep them at a minimum.

Well I’d better go and tackle the ironing basket now.

two men standing on seashore